Discernment in Marriage

We met Bob on our family vacation living next door to our house rental. We invited him over for coffee one morning, and he told us about his sixty years of life before he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. He mentioned how his wife left him after five years of marriage because he wouldn’t change. As he retold the succession of women that came after her, he said, “Yea, they all tried to change me, but I would never let them.”

And here we have the age-old paradigm of a spouse not wanting to change, and the other partner trying desperately to change them. Listening to Bob’s life story helped me reflect on the two most important factors that both spouses need to keep in tension: change and acceptance. Typically, we see these two camps divided. Either we must unconditionally accept everything about the other person, or we can’t accept anything about them and it becomes our mission to conform them to our own image. But really, neither has to be exclusively true. In my own marriage, I’ve learned it’s best to keep these two sides running parallel to each other and asking God for discernment and wisdom to know when to employ each one.

Bob had his heels dug into the ground and wouldn’t move. He was not letting marriage change him. But we must go into marriage expecting and desiring to be changed. God uses it as a means for holiness in our lives. Both husband and wife must listen to each other and always consider (even seek out) the other’s viewpoint and advice. When we seek ways to grow and change for the glory of God and the good of another, our marriage will prosper.

Read the rest at For the Church >>

Advertisements

Beautiful Interruptions

I have a blog post today over at Literary Mama. It’s about balancing my pursuit of writing — while being a stay at home mom — and how motherhood has impacted my writing in positive ways. Since I was young I felt the Lord calling me to write; I knew it was a gift he had given me to practice and use for his glory.

I went through a stage in my writing where I was lazy and didn’t want to write, but yet desired fame and recognition from it. God has used motherhood to mature me as a writer. It has been the perfect tool in God’s hands to humble me, and make me see that my writing is ultimately about him: for his glory and fame. I also now have a God-given delight in the process of writing, which I don’t believe I had prior to motherhood. I’m learning to take delight in my craft as God’s gift, while also making it about my ultimate delight in the giver of the gift.

Check out the post >>