Parenting Perfection and What our Kids Need Most

Many mommy blogs and parenting articles are about what we can do (or should do) for our children. We read articles, blog posts, and books about making our kids more grateful, ways to show them more grace, ways to better train and discipline, and even ways we can better feed them. We want to be better mothers who do good works for our family. This is a good desire, and one we have evidence for from biblical principles and commands.

But many of these mommy blog posts miss our children’s greatest need. They need a greater good work than we can offer them; a good work of the heart that comes from the Holy Spirit.

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‘Me Time’ Interrupted

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1:30 PM. Both of my boys take a 2 hour nap. Glory glory hallelujah’s echo through my mind as I prepare my pour-over coffee in solitude with a book ready in hand. This is my ‘me time’ as other cyber moms call it. A few hours without poopy diapers, constant questions and demands, playing blocks, and singing the ABC’s for the 100th time. I absolutely love all of those things (sometimes), but loving them doesn’t stop me from basking in my peaceful reverie. Until something changes.

Once I hear the baby cry for the second time or the toddler come out of his room, woken up prematurely, then I really love my ‘me time.’  Gratefulness turns to greediness. “Can’t I ever get a break around here?” is a question I’ve asked myself many times in my head. Sometimes it’s like my own personal mini raincloud appears over me and I grumble and complain to myself. The constant interruptions can get tiring. I only have a small window of time to look at my iPad, read a few pages in my book, or even write this blog post in one sitting. I’m like Gollum and this time is my precious.

Making a Mess with our Sin

We need a little time to ourselves (especially moms.) Those little breaks we get can be the fuel we need to keep going. So, in and of itself ‘me time’ is good, but the problem lies in our evil little hearts. We tend to soil good things, like spilling red pasta sauce on a white shirt. ‘Me time’ can become an idol. It can become a demanding god we must serve and bow down to everyday, thereby taking the place of the one true God. When ‘me time’ expresses itself in greediness, selfishness, and pride then we’ve put time to ourselves on a pedestal.

Doing our Job with Joy

I’m guilty of this. I selfishly don’t want to be interrupted by a crying baby. I pridefully demand my right to have time to myself, and I become greedy over how and when I want to spend my time. Basically, I become an old curmudgeon. I forget being a mom is my number one job, but I really forget that it should also be a joy.

That’s my problem; without Christ’s help I lack joy in the mundanity of motherhood. In the book, Mom Enough: The Fearless Mother’s Heart and Hope (Affiliate Link), two ladies capture this sentiment well:

Christine Hoover says,

“The everyday question asks not just about my duties, but also about my attitude. Will I joyfully pour out my life as a fragrant offering before the Lord for the benefit of my children?”

Gloria Furman says,

“By God’s grace, I can resist the temptation to treat my children as interruptions to my will for my life. Instead, God enables me to treat my children as precious gifts he is using to shape me into his image according to his will for my life.” 

Motherhood should not be a pattern of grin and bear it situations, but motherhood should be marked by joy and delight in God’s little gifts to us. Little gifts who love to interrupt us.