4 Ways to not be Busy

Part 4 of the Christian Thinking series. 

I am woman.

I am invincible. 

I am tired. 

A saying borrowed from a 1970’s song succinctly states a dilemma still facing today’s women. The feminist movement has always told us we are strong and powerful and can do anything we set our minds to do. Then why are we so exhausted? We throw around the phrase, “I’m busy,” like a boomerang. It feels like we are playing a broken record on repeat trying to get the same things done every day, but it doesn’t end; and does anything really get done?

This is the mentality of our western culture — a hurried frenzied mess. We pop stress like pain pills. If you aren’t running like mad through this labyrinth of busyness like everyone else then you are boring or lazy, right? This way of thinking is so wrong, but it’s such a strong cultural pressure pushing on us that it’s hard not to give in.

As women we think we can never do enough. If we choose to stay home with our kids then we feel like we should make up for not having another job title by staying super busy around the house. Whether a working mom, stay at home mom, or a single career woman, there is always pressure out there to do more than we are already doing. How should we think through this false cultural way of thinking and replace it with a Christian way of thinking?

1.) You can’t do it all

It’s hard to admit it. It’s humbling to realize we are actually weak people in desperate need of strength from God. I’ve been realizing this lately. I’ve always struggled with self-sufficiency and pride. When my husband goes out of town or works late a few nights in a row I think I can handle everything on my own. A toddler, a baby, and a house to take care of can’t be that hard, right? Then when I try to do too much with him gone I become burnt out, stressed, and exhausted. I realize I actually need a lot of help.

We aren’t mean’t to do everything on our own. God gave us a support system through his church body and our own family unit. Ask for help more often from your husband, friends, family, and most importantly God. Just admitting you can’t do it all is the starting line that frees you to run the race. God says he gives grace to the humble, but opposes the proud. So, humble yourself, ask God for help more often, and he will pour his grace on you.

2.) You can’t please everyone

The only one we need to please is God. Ask yourself, with the season I’m in right now what is God calling me to do? What would please him? It should be a very simple answer.

For example, with the season of life I’m in right now my calling is to serve my husband and children. Right now, for me this looks like staying home and taking care of our children, our house, and preparing food for us. It’s ok if I want to add a few other activities to my plate that I enjoy or need to do, but my top priority and main focus are my husband and children and taking care of our home. If anything else infringes on that priority then I need to evaluate my options and say no to some things.

Nancy Leigh Demoss says,

“Freedom, joy, and fruitfulness come from seeking to determine God’s prioritites for each season of life.”

3.) Be intentional

The Greek philosopher Socrates once said,

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”

Why is it barren? Because being busy just for the sake of being busy lacks purpose and focus.

God redeemed us to give us purpose. Our purpose on this earth is to know him more, make him known to others, and to bring him glory in whatever lot he gives us at the moment. This is the purpose of every true Christian man and woman. God’s Word gives us guidelines for other ways we have purpose in this life and how we can please him. His Word can help us be intentional, because it speaks to every season of life.

Jesus is a true example of intentionality. He came to this earth as a man with one purpose, one focus, one intent, and that was to bring salvation to mankind. He was always about doing his father’s will. Every miracle and every teaching in his earthly ministry had one focal point, and that was the fulfillment of the Gospel through himself. The miracles and teachings were just tools he used to achieve his one mission.

After 33 years of ministry, Jesus was able to say,

“I have glorified you on the earth: I have finished the work which you gave me to do.” John 17:4

His one purpose on earth was fulfilled. It was finished. What work has God given you to do right now? You can go to bed with an unfinished to do list if you finished the work God had for you for the day.

4.) Rest

Among the agenda of Jesus’ ministry he always went off alone to pray and think. We can’t do the work God has for us without rest. At the top of the list is spiritual rest. We have to make time to study and meditate on God’s Word and pray often.

Also, make time to exercise other forms of rest. Nap. Just sit, think, and read. Do something creative with your hands. Take a walk. Learn to be ok with being alone with yourself and with God. Learn to be still and quiet.

If the season you are in right now does not lend time for more specific areas of rest then just focus on spiritual rest.

Much of the barren busyness in our culture is an unconscious tactic to fill the empty void inside us. This is not how it should be for us as Christians. We are already fulfilled in Christ, we don’t need an endless amount of appointments and activities to make us feel important or worth something. We have only one life on this earth, let’s not waste it being busy.

Part 5 >>

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Unfulfilled Longings in the Check Out Line

Part 3 of the Christian Thinking series. 


Have you looked at the women’s magazines at the store check out lane recently?

  • 99 Ways to Look Better, Feel Better, Enjoy Life More!
  • Snack off Weight
  • Look Gorgeous When It’s 100 Degrees
  • 25 Secrets to Looking Young
  • Indulge Yourself: Instant Long Hair; Goof-proof Self-tanning
  • The Little Health Habit That Keeps You Thin, Improves Your Skin, and Ups Your Energy!
  • The Easy Life: Fun Jobs, Cool Dresses, Wild Fantasies, and Smart Solutions

All of these article titles promise to satisfy our desires to be thin, beautiful, young, and have everything we want quickly and easily. Yet, if we don’t get the results we want, when we want them, we launch into feelings of resentment, depression or anxiety. Then when we feel this way we look for other
ways to fulfill our longings: a new hairstyle, wardrobe, job, a man, children, vacations, and food. It’s a frenzied cycle of bondage.

We live in a culture of convenience. The only worthy pursuits are ones which come with little effort. Once life gets hard and we don’t feel fulfilled we pitch a fit. We live in a time where results are demanded instantly; a fast-food mentality permeates all areas of our lives.

This is false teaching alive in the message of our culture, and it is not a biblical message. Women embrace this message, because of insecurity, unhappiness, and a desire to feel fulfilled. Here are 3 ways we can put on our Christian Thinking caps and impart truth into our lives in this area:

1. Unfulfilled longings are not always sinful.

Longings and desires, in and of themselves, are not sinful, and fulfilling these desires are not always sinful either.  When our quest for fulfillment becomes a demanding right that must be fulfilled instantly or we insist on fulfilling our longings in illegitimate ways then we have entered the territory of sin. The problem enters when our desire for other things or people take the place of our desire for God.

2. Our unfulfilled longings cannot be filled by people and things.

C.S. Lewis says this perfectly:

It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

We will always have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven. The problem is we are too easily satisfied with lesser things offered on this earth, and these lesser things will always fail and disappoint us.

God gave us these desires as a way to point us to heaven and to himself as the ultimate satisfying source of life. He wants us to feel restless on this earth; we are sojourners and aliens here. We should not try to make our home in the wilderness, while the promised land is waiting for us.

3. Unfulfilled longings are a normal part of life. Contentment is key.

We will always live with unfulfilled longings. Once we get what we want, we’ll just want something else. The grass always looks greener on the other side, until we get there and see all the weeds we have to fight, and then we desire a new patch of grass. Our consumer minded society is constantly feeding its ferocious appetite for more. This is not a Christian mindset. We are called to think like Paul and learn contentment in every season of life.

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:11-13

As Christian women, we need to ask God for strength to be content with whatever lot we find ourselves in. We need to ask for joy in whatever God has set before us. We need to trust God with our unfulfilled longings, and see Christ as our source of ultimate fulfillment to life.

Part 4 >>

Loreal Self-Worth and The Christian Woman

Part 2 of the Christian Thinking series.

Because you’re worth it. This famous tag line from Loreal Paris advertisements goes deeper than just four words on a screen. This one line embodies a cultural philosophy that has been adopted by many Christians, especially women. As I mentioned in the introduction to this series, we need to be aware of the false teaching aimed at women in our culture and begin to think rightly.

Nancy Leigh Demoss says it perfectly,

“Christian women need to open their eyes and begin to evaluate what is going on around them — to wake up to the deception that is so pervasive in both our secular and our Christian cultures. So much of our lifestyle is rooted in ways of thinking that simply are not true.”

She cites music, TV, movies, books, advice, and advertisements as some of the vehicles that perpetuate deceptive ways of thinking. Demoss gives three helpful questions to help us evaluate popular cultural messages:

  1. What is the message here?
  2. Is it really true?
  3. Am I being deceived by a way of thinking that is contrary to the Truth?


So, what is the message behind Loreal Paris advertisements?

It’s a popular message today aimed at women; it’s the mask of the self-movement hiding the face of humanism. The self-movement is my way of describing all the ‘self’ words we see and hear today: self-esteem, self-image, self-love, and self-worth. All of these words are just modern day packaging of an old philosophy called humanism.

What is Humanism?

Basically, it is a man-centered way of thinking, which views man as basically good and moral and finds no need for any supernatural power. In humanism, man is God. Man can then decide for himself what is true and good and worships himself as true and good.

Humanism came to a peak during the middle ages when a new spirit of learning developed, and the once dark ages saw a new light as the arts flourished again. This period is known as the Renaissance. It was during this time that man again became confident of his ability to determine truth and error.

The American Humanist Association describes what philosophical humanism is:

“…Any outlook or way of life centered on human need and interest. Sub-categories of this type include Christian Humanism and Modern Humanism.

Christian Humanism is defined by Webster’s Third New International Dictionary as “a philosophy advocating the self-fulfillment of man within the framework of Christian principles.” This more human-oriented faith is largely a product of the Renaissance and is a part of what made up Renaissance humanism.”

Today we are guilty of Christian Humanism. The ‘self’ words have been adopted by Christians as truth when in fact they are error. These are not just cute harmless phrases empty of meaning, because their roots go deep into anti-God ways of thinking. The messages of self-esteem, self-love, self-worth, and self-image are not the Gospel message. The message of the self- movement puts man’s needs and interests first, but the Gospel message is death to self.

Humanism in Light of Scripture

God’s Word makes it clear we naturally love ourselves enough and commands us to do what goes against our nature, which is putting ourselves last. We are repeatedly told in Scripture to put others needs and interests before our own. God knows we don’t need the message our culture sends us, because we are already always doing it. In Ephesians 5 Paul tells husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, which assumes we don’t hate our bodies, because we feed and care for them. We need to look out for others in the way we already look out for ourselves.

Our image and worth should not be defined by a humanistic way of thinking that looks inward, but defined by what God says about us in his Word. The truth is we are completely unworthy and Christ is the only worthy one. Yet, once we believe and accept this truth, Christ accepts and loves us in our unworthiness and shares his worthiness (sinless life) with us. We become
worthy to God through Christ, but not through ourselves. Nancy Leigh Demoss sums it up well:

“Our malady is not “low self-esteem,” nor is it how we view ourselves; rather it is our low view of God. Our problem isn’t so much a “poor self-image” as it is a “poor God-image.” Our need is not to love ourselves more but to receive his incredible love for us and to accept his design and purpose for our lives.

Once we have received His love, we will not have to compare ourselves to others; we will not focus on “self” at all. Instead, we will become channels of His love to others.”

The ‘self’ words should change to Christ-esteem, Christ-worth, Christ-image, and Christ-love. All of these words need to be defined by Jesus Christ in our life. Everything is ours in Christ. We don’t need to look for our image, esteem, and worth in the offers of this world, just truly believe and accept we are accepted and loved by God through Christ.

The world’s offer is cheap like Loreal hair color that washes out in a few weeks, but God’s offer came at the high cost of His Son and is an eternal guarantee. You don’t go to Target to purchase this product, because it is already paid in full. The lines have fallen for you in pleasant places, my dear sister, just be content and believe. He will help your unbelief.

Part 3 >>

Is Your Head Full of Straw?

Christian Thinking Series — Introduction

Men are the tin man in need of a heart and women are the scarecrow wanting for brains. For so long men have been the stereotype of logic and reasoning and women the stereotype of heart and emotions. It can be a mostly true generality, but still a stereotype easily broken.

Are women’s heads truly full of straw? In 2 Timothy 3:5-7 Paul warns Timothy of false teachers:

“And from such people turn away! For this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

Paul isn’t perpetuating the above stereotype here, but simply expressing truth. The truth is that women, and housewives in general, are susceptible to the dangers of false teaching. Men are too of course, but there are certain false teachings out there intentionally aimed at women and/or housewives. Just turn on your television to see advertisements selling to women and you know our culture has an agenda.

The Call to Christian Women

Let’s not be those gullible women! Let’s not reserve hard study and theology to the men and seminary students. Women don’t need to be all fluffy hearts and butterflies to epitomize biblical womanhood. We too can be pictured as brave warriors fighting the spiritual battles in our homes, in the world, and in the Church. Women are called to pick up their sword and fight along with the men; the sword of truth does not discriminate.

As Christian women, we need to read and start thinking. Read God’s Word first, but also read good books. You don’t have to be a natural intellectual to think, but we are called to think differently from non-christians. Christian thinking and secular thinking are two seperate categories and we must become familiar with both camps to do battle well.

The Christian Mind

In his 1960’s book, The Christian Mind, Harry Blamires says,

“There is no longer a Christian mind. There is still, of course, a Christian ethic, a Christian practice, and a Christian spirituality.”

When we start to think like a christian it should affect our daily living, and not just be a moral awareness.

I love Aimee Byrd’s book, Housewife Theologian. She has an entire chapter devoted to the Christian mind. Here are some excerpts:

“Truly Christian thinking involves an eternal perspective on our daily matters and contemplation of how they fit into the dogma of the drama in which God has cast us. 

 “Our faith has nothing substantial to say to or about what we perceive as real life. We behave as if our Christian values make our contribution to the world somehow insignificant or unintelligent.

Unfortunately, in many ways as a church, we have allowed this kind of thinking and have, in fact, added to it. We keep our faith compartmentalized into a separate realm, apart from the everyday facts and acts of life. When we are not wearing our “faith hat,” we think in terms of all the isms of our time — naturalism, existentialism, conservatism, feminism, humanism, capitalism, liberalism, and so on — unaware that we are thinking like Locke, Rousseau, Voltaire, and other philosophic minds and believing that we are thinking “independently.” Tragically, rather than functioning as independent thinkers we are really just parroting the spin-doctors who don’t see life through the lens of God’s special revelation in Scripture.”

As Paul warned Timothy of false teachers in their day Paul mentions ‘they are always learning, but never arriving at the truth’; these are the spin-doctors of our time too.

My next several blog posts will be aimed at expounding on these thoughts. I’ll explore modern day false teaching aimed at women and how it embodies different philosophies. Instead of filling our heads with the straw of false cultural thinking we’ll be using the brains of true Christian thought. Just follow the yellow brick road.

Part 2 >>

Housewife Theologian Book Review

{This blog post contains an affiliate link.}

Today housewife has become a dirty word. In Christian circles it has sometimes become a shameful thing. We can be embarrassed to admit our occupation to others. Our culture doesn’t see much value and meaning in being a housewife in comparison with working outside the home. A housewife is second rate; uneducated and imprisoned.

In her book, Housewife Theologian: How the Gospel Interrupts the Ordinary, Aimee Byrd attempts to redeem the word housewife and transform it into something glorious; and something deeper than we make it. Byrd encourages us to think. Our days are not just about laundry and dishes, but should be rich in theology. What we know about God should be apart of the ordinary in our lives; what we know and believe should affect how we live. Byrd describes it this way:

“Truly Christian thinking involves an eternal perspective on our daily matters and contemplation of how they fit into the dogma of the drama in which God has cast us.”

Byrd explains how our femininity, beauty, identity, sexuality, self-image, sin, and attitudes are all out workings of our theological thoughts. This is so important in this day and age as we are surrounded by false teaching that impedes the calling the Lord has given us as women. Byrd teaches us how to not be ‘gullible housewives,’ who believe anything that sounds nice, but to be sharpened in our pursuit of Christian thinking.

Self-Image and Identity

Some of my favorite portions in the book cover self-image and identity. These two issues are typically areas of deception for women. A lot of the lies our culture promotes about these two topics sound pretty truthful. Today you can hear people talking about finding themselves. Feeling lost, like they have no purpose; trying to figure out who they are. It’s not just non-Christians that feel this way, but many Christians.
My only question about these feelings are: Where are you right now?

One of my heroes, Jim Elliot, says this,

“Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”

Wherever God has you right now, whatever place, position, or season, is exactly God’s will for you. If we examine our doctrine and truly believe God is sovereign, then we know where we are and what we are doing now is God’s will for us. We don’t have to travel the world or take a pottery class to find ourselves. If we are in the Word of God, we know who we are and who we belong to.

I love the quote from C.S. Lewis in Byrd’s book. It truly summarizes this issue in our culture of finding self:

“The principle runs through all life from top to bottom. Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life, and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favorite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end . . . and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will really be yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”

Identity and Idolatry

When it comes to our identity as women, idolatry is not far behind. It’s easy for us to make ultimate things out of good things, as Byrd describes it. It’s also easy for us to find something to attach ourselves to; something that identifies us. Then we end up looking to that thing as our source of happiness. When it’s taken away we respond in sin.

If we are studying and thinking through God’s Word and taking part in Church fellowship we will be setting ourselves up for idol exposing and killing. What are those things that are not Christ that we are looking to fulfill us? To make us happy? To give us purpose? Maybe it’s having a successful career? Getting rich? Maybe being a good housewife? Maybe it’s having a job outside of the home or not having a job outside the home? Maybe it’s looks?

Maybe we need to look for Christ to identify us. We do that when we are faithful housewife theologians who study the Word of God with rigorous discipline and humble prayers for grace. We are true to ourselves (as our culture calls it) when we immerse ourselves in Christ. We follow our dreams (again a modern cultural saying) when we discover the ultimate dream that is Christ himself.

He is our treasure and pearl of great price. Christ defines us as women and shows us that true value, worth, and meaning is found in losing ourselves and finding Him.